Boyz II Men's "I'll Make Love to You" is the Best Love Song Ever Written

It was 1994. I was 13 years old in the midst of transitioning from a private Christian school to public school. I had long been sneaking secular music behind my mother's back but it was that year I truly discovered the soulful greatness that was Boyz II Men. I remember their early New Jack Swing days and while I thought they were good, I never paid them much attention until their second album II came out with the aforementioned song.

This song makes me reminisce on school dances in 8th grade, when every girl swooned if a boy asked her to dance to this song. Who can forget the music video with Boyz II Men in their matching outfits or Wanya's passionate performance begging the woman of his dreams to come back to him? This song was a panty dropper from start to finish. Thank you Boyz II Men. Some day my future husband and I will be making a baby to this song. Now, allow the nostalgia to wash over you with the music video.

Not Nerdy Enough to be Considered a Black Girl Nerd

Apparently, I'm supposed to look and act like this to be considered a true black nerd!

Wednesday night, I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Black Nerd Diaries podcast. One of the topics that came up were the stereotypes of black nerds. I mentioned that I had previously been accused of not being nerdy enough. Everyone expressed shock at that confession. Alas, it's true. I'm apparently not nerdy enough for the nerd tribe.

In the past, many terms have been used to describe me. The nicer ones have been silly, outgoing, boisterous, fun-loving. The rather unkind words people use in conjunction to me run along the lines of abrasive, loud, shallow, and in some cases, down right bitchy. Whenever I ask people to include nerdy in their list of adjectives, they've been somewhat reticent to do so. Upon my questioning as to why nerdy isn't one of their descriptive terms for me, the common response is generally "you don't seem like a nerd." Wait, what?!

I'd personally like to know exactly what in my ever-growing list of hobbies and interests excludes me from the nerd culture. Is it my love of fashion and makeup that makes me less of a nerd? Could it possibly be the fact that I like sports and will challenge any guy to a pick up game of basketball? Or is it because I don't fit the age old criteria of the stereotypical nerd?

Gone are the days of the Coke-bottle glasses, high water pants, and the pocket protector. Steve Urkel is no longer our mascot for the black nerd. Today the typical black nerd looks more like a hipster than the 1950s caricature of what people still think nerds should look like. No, I don't wear glasses because I have perfect vision. I like my makeup and wear my hair relaxed. My fashion sense is all over the place and pretty much relies on whatever fits me that I can afford. When I ask if it's my outer appearance that makes people believe that I'm not a nerd, I am met with a resounding no.

When it comes to "nerdy things" I love tech stuff, some video games, movies (especially horror), and superheros. Let's not forget that I'm a history buff who could talk about Edwardian history until the next coming of Christ. I could go on and on about other things I like, but it would take forever. My hobbies clearly put me in the category of "nerd", but some friends will still claim that I'm simply not a nerd.

Okay, I'll bite, so what about me says I'm not a nerd? If it's not the superficial outer shell or the inner workings of my psyche, then what? Nobody seems to be able to give me a straight answer, so I'll go back to my original thesis: people are unable to consider me a nerd because of personal stereotypes of the nerd culture as well as society's difficulty in accepting the rise of 21st century black nerds in the mainstream. Nerds, especially black ones, are so varied that it's hard to pinpoint the common black nerd uniform or black nerd interests. Perhaps one day we'll be able to narrow down a profile for the typical black nerd, but for now, I'll remain perfectly happy in knowing that I'm a unique black nerd.

Gearing Up For Another Redesign...

As much as I poke fun at my mother for compulsively rearranging her kitchen and living room several times a year, I am just like her when it comes to certain things. While I may not have the patience to move heavy oak shelves around because I've gotten tired of seeing them in a certain spot, I DO enjoy redesigning things in my digital life. Yep, I'm doing another redesign of this blog. I'm even considering renaming my blog entirely because my blog name has unfortunately been hijacked by another similar blogger. The problem is when you do a Google or Bing search for my blog, this other person's blog comes up. My overall brand that I have tried to cultivate over the last year and a half is forever linked to this other young lady's blog. So someone else benefits from my attempt at originality, which sucks. For the time being, I'm going to continue blogging under my current name. I already have an idea of what my new blog name should be, but I shall keep that one to myself in case someone decides to copy that one as well. LOL. As for design and content, I'm currently taking suggestions for a new header and background if anyone has any ideas.

This Season of The Walking Dead: Are they gearing up for a Daryl/Carol pairing?

Ew, just ew. If this happens, I'm going to be pissed.

Good God I hope not. If you can remember season 2 of The Walking Dead, you may have noticed the growing closeness between Daryl Dixon and Carol Peletier after her daughter Sophia went missing. Initially, I thought this mini-storyline was a good thing. Daryl shows a much softer side to his character. He's not as harsh and anti-social and he clearly is starting to care for the group. Carol manages to bring out the compassionate part of Daryl's personality, previously unseen in season 1. I will admit that she's been very good for him. However, I don't trust Carol.

At the end of the season 2 finale, Carol is seen encouraging Daryl to leave Rick and the group and to go off on their own. Carol further states that she "wants a man of honor." She clearly sees Daryl as a strong alpha male that can protect her, but not mistreat her the way her husband did. Daryl's loyalty to Rick is stronger than any platonic feelings he may have for Carol, but that didn't stop her from attempting to manipulate him into taking over leadership of the group or chucking the group aside entirely and setting off as a duo. The way she's latched onto Daryl is worrisome. Her behavior towards the end of last season made me question if she truly cares for Daryl or is just using him as a means to survive. She still blames Rick for her idiot daughter wandering off and getting bitten by a walker. Never mind the fact that her daughter was old enough to find her way back and didn't HAVE to run off into the woods away from the group when that walker came after her. Nope, it's ALLLLL Rick's fault. Since she's feeling resentful towards Rick, she no longer sees him fit to lead their group. There wasn't much choice for a replacement after Rick. Shane went batshit crazy and then is killed by Rick, Glenn is too weak (and also very loyal to Rick), Dale was too old and was fatally disemboweled by a walker, T-Dog is just... well, there but almost a waste of a character. That just leaves the good ole boy Daryl.

I think this new season will see the group splintering apart even more and further questioning Rick's  leadership. Especially after the big reveal at the end of the season 2 finale over the truth about the zombie apocalypse. Also, let's not forget Rick's breakdown and his declaration that the group is "no longer a democracy." We've seen Rick's struggle to lead and keep not just his own family alive but everyone else as well. The entire group is already doubting Rick can continue on with Maggie also trying to convince Glenn to leave Rick and everyone else and go off with her. Granted, I don't see Maggie being as conniving as Carol. I think it will be interesting to see how far Carol takes her machinations to convince Daryl to do her bidding. Assuming they continue their storylines in that direction. Word is, Daryl's brother, Merle will be making a reappearance, presumably working with the Governor. If that's the case, then we will see Daryl being pulled in two directions plenty this season: his love for his brother butting heads with his loyalty to Rick. I'm excited to see some more internal conflict with Daryl's character.

Season 3 of The Walking Dead premieres Sunday, October 14th at 9pm EST on AMC.

The World's First Thick Black Female Superhero?!

Looks like we thick black girls were at one time represented in the Marvel Universe. At least, she looks thick in this picture. Photon was one of the leaders of the Avengers. Black, sassy, thick, and she was the boss of a bunch of Alpha males? I like this woman already.

Job Searching: the Tenth Circle of Hell

I must have committed some awful crime in my other life and have now been cursed to live out eternity in a version of hell known as Job Searching! In this economy, there are no jobs to be had. Wait, I'm wrong, there's jobs out there, but none for you! You can send out a hundred applications or resumes and get nothing but those "Dear John" emails or letters. You know the ones I'm referring to. The "Dear applicant, although your qualifications are strong, we cannot offer you a position at this time. We encourage you to keep applying...." blah blah blah! I've encountered at least a thousand job postings, few of which I'm qualified for. The ones I am qualified for, I believe my resume/application gets lost in Internet limbo. Those HR programs that weed through resumes and applications automatically are likely to blame for why so many people DON'T get hired for jobs. It's so frustrating out there. I did what I was supposed to do: went to college, got that Bachelor's degree that was supposed to "open doors to my future", got involved in an academic Greek organization to help "ensure my future networking possibilities", and even worked in a field outside of what I got my degree in to make me more attractive for job opportunities. Yeah, none of it has worked so far. Guess it's time to take out the student loans and go to Graduate school so I can have at least a slim chance of working in my field. Oh well, the search continues...

Facebook annoyances

I like Facebook. I don't love it but it's convenient. It's easy for me to keep in touch with friends that live farther away whose lives are pretty busy. I like being able to share pictures, videos, etc. with a large number of friends all at once. However, Facebook has it's drawbacks that are mostly to do with people on Facebook and not necessarily anything that Mark Zuckerberg is doing.

1) Apps. Good God how I loathe them! I briefly played around with Farmville and enjoyed it but it just became tedious. I used to not mind that I got daily notifications from people on my friends list about whatever app or Facebook game they were involved with. That was before I got an iPhone. The frequent alerts on my phone that "so-so would like for you to join them in Chefville" or whatever started to really piss me off. I sign onto Facebook once or twice daily only to find dozens of notifications from friends spamming me with their app requests! Just, stop, or I shall engage the "Unfriend" function.

2) Discussions of religion or politics. I get that your faith and/or political beliefs are important to you. I also defend your Constitutional right to say whatever the hell you want to on your own status update. However, do not act surprised to discover there are people on your friends list that don't agree with your rhetoric. You must also attempt to check the behavior of the crazed zealots you are friends with that DO agree with you when they start in on the adult version of schoolyard bullying. President Obama isn't a foreign-born secret Muslim, a woman isn't a whore just because she takes birth control, and Separation of Church and State was a decision made by our Founding Fathers. Just because I don't agree with you and I prefer to live in the realm of reality and facts does not give you license to question my intelligence or patriotism. Nor does it give you the right to disparage my education, race, and socioeconomic background because of my beliefs. 

3) Status update histrionics. *sigh* Where do I even start with this? Before I do, let me confess that I have been guilty of venting on Facebook in the past. Sometimes, you just need to let off steam. Afterwards, you feel better and then foolish for posting an expletive-laced diatribe against a coworker, friend, or family member in such a public fashion. The problem are those that do it constantly. You know who you are. Everyone has that friend on Facebook that updates their status cursing out someone they recently dated or bemoaning how crappy their life is. On a daily basis with constant updates throughout the day all along the same thread. These same folks also hijack OTHER people's status updates to bitch about how much their own lives currently suck. Case in point: I had a friend that posted a humorous update on Facebook about being stuck in traffic. After several friends left hilarious comments on the status, one friend decided to hijack the status by complaining this person had been a bad friend by not calling or checking on her. She was serious when she did this. What followed was an example of extreme bitchassness that could only exist on a social networking site. After turning a funny status into one huge guilt trip, myself and others came to my friend's defense that this sort of hijacking was just not kosher and that she needs to take the theatrics back to her own page. The entitlement of some Facebook users is just mind boggling, which leads me to my final issue.

4) Overt displays of narcissism. Social networks have turn us all into selfish assholes. That's the reality. Just like with AIM ten years ago, everybody assumes that the world really wants to hear our witty deduction of "Is the hokey pokey REALLY what it's all about?!" or how that the world really gives a shit that I ate a lox and cream cheese bagel at an awesome bagel shop. Yes, we all want to entertain our friends but when your entire identity is wrapped up in your Facebook page, it's time for you to log off and reevaluate your life. When you post pictures of yourself scantily-clad just so your male friends can comment about how hot you are, then I suggest that you seek therapy for low self-esteem. There's hundreds of millions of Facebook users. None of us are any more special than the next, so stop acting like as though the world revolves around you!

People, let's try to remember one very important fact: employers and universities check Facebook and other social networking sites to see if you have a profile. If they're lucky, you're moronic enough to have your profile set to public. That way, they can see ALL your business, good and bad. Don't be an idiot, use Facebook responsibly. 

Nerdy about… being a Black girl nerd

Let me tell you something, growing up as a black girl nerd wasn’t easy. I was constantly referred to as sell-out or “white girl wannabe.” I didn’t talk or act like some of my fellow black youths did. I liked classical music, I preferred hipster-type clothing (even though I never wore any), I watched Masterpiece Theater and read British literature. To put it plainly: I was educated. I didn’t sound ignorant or dress like a hood rat. I got so used to black kids asking me “why you talk like a white girl” that it had no meaning for me.

The funny thing is, I’m quite proud of being black. I love my skin tone and my heritage and my big ass. The thing I love most about being black is that I'm a walking contradiction to what society thinks black people should be like. Some blacks treat me with disgust while quite a few whites will say to me “Oh you speak so well!” I don’t think I need to explain why that is a backhanded compliment that insults me to no end every time I hear it. You would think in the 21st century where we have quite a few intelligent blacks to look up to, people would be less shocked by my personality.

Being a black nerd is the reason I hated high school. I was over the moon when I graduated. It’s a good thing I didn’t give any graduation speeches. Mine would’ve consisted of a single line: KISS MY ASS AND GOODBYE! I found my nerd group in college. A group that I am still close friends with to this day. Though I traversed my twenties with as much grace as a bull in a China shop, I still was able to come to terms with the part of my personality that causes people to enjoy being around me: being a nerd.

I no longer feel shame in knowing more about Tchaikovsky and Chopin than Biggie and Tupac. Nor do I care who looks at me funny when I tell them I’ve never read a Zane novel and that I’m a huge fan of Jane Austen. Yes, I like sci-fi and horror films and can debate with anyone over what is the worst video game movie of all time (House of the Dead.) While I embrace my nerd-dom and enjoy being different, I shall never lose sight of who I am and my culture. I am proud of who I am and I will continue being me. If you disagree, oh well for you.