"Culture Fit": Perhaps it DOES Have a Purpose

Last month, the tech community was whipped into a frenzy by a Gawker article demonizing the term "culture fit" as another way of marginalizing women in an already tough environment. I will agree that the so-called bro environment of the tech world makes it difficult for women to advance. Some nerds feel that a pretty girl is just that. She has zero intellect and holds little substance other than being fodder to add to his spank bank when he's alone in his bedroom. This belief that women are incapable of making it in science and technology doesn't just start once they hit Silicon Valley. The belief is ingrained before they've even matriculated from their respective universities where misogynistic professors shoot down their creativity and kill their spirit believing their male counterparts are far superior. In short, life for the female tech nerd isn't easy. However, it doesn't help that other women make it far more difficult. Now, what I'm going to say will upset some folks. However, please understand that I'm speaking from my own experiences in the work force and those of many people I've known over the years. That being said: in the past, I have generally hated working with women and I AM a woman!

Since I've graduated college and entered the adult working world, I've never once doubted that my fellow ladies could handle their own in male-dominated industries. We have all proven time and time again that we are just as intelligent, driven, and savvy as even the most dominant Alpha male. The problem I've had with working with most women has nothing to do with their ability to perform their job. It has to do with their personalities. The majority of the women I've worked with are some of the most catty, unprofessional, immature harpies I've ever encountered outside of high school. The age of most of these women would shock you. Add into that, a hyper competitive environment and you have a recipe for a major sh*tstorm.

I've seen female managers flat out lie and even break federal laws to get rid of another female they hated. I've witnessed two female coworkers get into the office equivalent of a bar fight. I had a boss (also a woman) fire me when I refused to cover up the Medicare scam she was attempting to perpetuate in her company after she fired my predecessor for also refusing to go along with it. I once had a different manager that told several of my coworkers that she would cut my hours if I didn't come back to work after being hospitalized with a severe illness. She reportedly was smiling when she said this because she hoped it would make me angry enough to quit. I've seen some downright insane behavior that was juvenile at the very least and workplace bullying at worst. In all my years, I've only had an issue with ONE male coworker. The rest were always women.

Women tend to gang up on each other, engage in gossip, and behave much more cruelly than men it seems. I'm not making it out that men are some sort of angels here. Men can be extremely chauvinistic and condescending in the workplace as well, but women just take it to a whole other level. While most men would eventually get bored and move on from a target, women keep going until that person has damn near snapped. The last experience I had working for a certain famous coffee shop where I dealt with venomous little girls (as they don't deserve to be called women) has left me so scarred I hope to God I never have to go back to the company no matter what my financial situation is. After I left that awful place, every job I interviewed for, I would find myself inquiring about the male-to-female ratio. If there was a significantly higher number of women over men, I'd quickly walk out saying "thanks but no thanks." The Gawker article had me intrigued because I question whether there even NEEDS to be a large presence of women in the tech world.

Hear me out, but if there was suddenly a 40% increase of women in Silicon Valley working for startups or VC firms, how would that impact the work environment? Yes, these women would all be brilliant, but what of their personalities and their ability to play nice with others? Take for example the infamous Sarah Lacy. She seems to enjoy her well deserved bitch on wheels reputation all the while mistakenly believing that just makes her an assertive professional woman. I've heard people defend women like her saying that "oh, if she were a man, blah blah blah." NO! If she were a man, people would've written her off long ago. Instead, she gets a pass because she's cute. The problem is, it's women like her that make it harder for other women to be taken seriously in the tech world (or any world in the workforce.) Not every woman who ventures to Silicon Valley is going to be like Sarah Lacy or some of my previous female coworkers. Many are going to be dedicated and hardworking and not so caught up in b.s. such as "OMG, I can't believe how low cut her shirt is! She looks like a whore!"

Culture fit, and other practices like it, DO have a place. However, if a company chooses to believe in the veracity of the phrase, then they should strictly outline exactly what that means from an HR perspective. Just because you dress like Zuckerberg or can drink your average frat guy under the table doesn't make you an awesome potential hire or startup. It beggars belief that a VC would make business decisions based off the fact that a young white guy showed up in a t-shirt, jeans, and a hoodie. That being said, the very idea of "culture fit" needs to be revamped, and if not, then it needs to be completely done away with. I believe, if used properly, it could be utilized to weed out the incompetent from the serious worker, and yes, that does include females. Not that I'm encouraging homogeneous work environments, but if you're someone who doesn't fit in with the personalities of the rest of the team, it just won't work out. Let's say you're angry, confrontational, and flat out bitchy. You mighty prefer to settle your differences with harsh words and yelling while the team already in place prefers to talk things over calmly. You won't last in a place like that because eventually, you'll alienate everyone else. I don't care how smart you are, if you're just going to create a tense work environment with a bunch of drama then I wouldn't want you there. And if I worked in Silicon Valley, I would be very hesitant to work with a bunch of women if they acted anything like Rachel McAdams' character in Mean Girls!

Being Popular on Facebook Is Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

I remember the good old days when one could brag about having 20 close friends within their social circle and they'd actually be telling the truth. Nowadays, you're not considered "popular" unless you have several HUNDRED people on your friends list on Facebook. Really?! Is that what our society has come to? How many lemmings we can get to follow our updates on Twitter or how many random strangers will accept our friend requests on Facebook and other social networking sites. When did one's entire social identity become so wrapped up in what someone has to say about your status update?

We live in an age of extreme self importance as displayed in the following NBC News article. When you start to believe there are people out there in cyberspace that are actually waiting with bated breath for your next status update about eating mac 'n cheese then you need to seek psychiatric help. Better yet, you need to take a step back from social networking in general and reevaluate your life. Truth be told, I don't care about the mundane aspects of the lives of my Facebook friends. The only information I enjoy reading is the news of engagements, weddings, births of children, professional and academic achievements, etc. You know? Significant life events that require celebration in all forms of social interaction. I expect my friends feel the same way about my status updates. Nobody cares that I'm upset Ben Affleck got snubbed for a Best Director nomination for the Academy Awards. Nor do my Facebook friends be bothered if I never reposted another puppy meme. I don't consider myself so relevant that people are hanging on my every word online.

Us mere mortals aren't the only ones guilty of using the internet to inflate our already over-inflated egos. Celebrities are the biggest offenders of the Me Me Me epidemic that is social media. Guess what, Kim Kardashian, I don't give two hoots on your thoughts of Middle East political relations. Your ignorant tweets on the subject are evidence enough that you have no clue what the hell you're talking about! Yet, people like Kim K. are deluded enough to believe their "fans" actually want to hear their opinion on everything. To make matters worse, there are people who sit back and ENJOY reading that crap!

I find it particularly sad how upset someone will get if you don't consider social media the end all, be all of life interactions. My boyfriend recently put a meme on his Facebook that apparently upset the delicate balance of the fragile psyche of one of his friends. This person went on to rant about studies that show how popularity on Facebook correlates to how popular one is in real life. I responded by instructing him to do a status update asking his "friends" if he can borrow five dollars and see how many of them respond with a yes.   It's just a social networking site. It's not some life affirming prophecy. In other words, it isn't that damn serious!

Facebook: Your Ads Are Starting to Annoy Me

Several months ago, I was bored and trolling through Facebook when I see something quite surprising to the right of my screen: an advertisement for an abortion clinic. Now, from what I've always understood about the way Facebook ads work is that they're tailored to your personal likes, information, and browsing habits, etc. Again, that's the way it's always been explained to me. If that is the case, then when have I "liked" a page for abortions or done an internet search for abortions? Oh, wait, could it be the search I did while researching Planned Parenthood earlier this year during the Presidential campaign in an attempt to discover the real truth behind the extent of their federal funding? That could be a possibility. Either way, it got me thinking of the efficacy of Facebook ads.

I've noticed for some time now that the ads I and friends of mine frequently see don't seem to be about products or services that interest us. I could care less about the local wedding expo since I'm never getting married. Nor do I have any desire to get a concealed to carry permit certification since I will never have a reason to buy a gun. I have never displayed any interest in these types of things on my Facebook account. That being said, just why are they being marketed to me? It makes zero sense that you would advertise products and such to people that don't fit your target demographic. Where's the marketing research in terms of these ads? Apparently, Facebook seems to think they can operate like endcaps and impulse aisles in supermarkets. They aren't doing themselves any favors, only diluting their "product" and ruining the reputation of Facebook.

Techcrunch recently did an article about the current advertising practices on Facebook. I agree that Facebook should look into connecting their users with possible advertisers in a more effective manner. I disagree with the idea of having an "ad-free" option for users, assuming that users will actually care enough about ads to fork over 10 bucks to Mark Zuckerberg every month. That also defeats the purpose of revamping your ad practices. Personally, I miss the days of ad-free Facebook. When my newsfeed wasn't clogged with advertisements for For Eyes and Dicks Sporting Goods because someone on my friends list liked those pages. Unfortunately, those days are long gone because the site that so many people love needs to make money somehow. Until Facebook finds another way to generate revenue without inconveniencing their users, we're stuck with ads selling AARP services to a 31 year old!

Blogging is Hard Work

I know this sounds like a big joke to some people, but it's a reality. Blogging is difficult. It's a pain to try to think of something witty and creative to write about every day or a few days a week. It can be quite a feat to keep your audience interested in your blog while also attempting to draw in new readers. In this world of social media, nobody wants to be written off as irrelevant or inconsequential. Thanks to sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, people's entire identities are wrapped up in whether someone liked their status update, retweeted some asinine tweet of theirs, or favorited a picture they posted of the sun shining through the autumn leaves on a tree. Who we are online has become an extension of our personalities and lives. Blogging is no different.

This blog is very much a part of who I am. The past year and some change that I've been writing BlackGirlNerd has been a lesson to others in the variety of things that interest me. It's a reflection of my character and all around nuttiness that encompasses ME (f-bombs and all.) The purpose of my referencing other social media is because I use it to connect friends and strangers to my blog. Without it, I would find it quite challenging to spread the word of BlackGirlNerd to others. I would have to resort to *gasp* posting flyers and handing out business cards. The horror!

My biggest challenge is thinking of something new and interesting to blog about. By interesting, I mean something that will hold MY interest long enough for me to write a coherent blog entry about it. I have dozens of ideas to blog about, but very few of them make the cut. My dilemma is further compounded by the lack of traffic to my blog. While I do have a decent-sized audience, I don't have a large number of dedicated followers to give me constructive feedback on what works and what doesn't work with BlackGirlNerd. Clearly, I'm doing something wrong with my blog, be it content, design, or advertising of the blog itself. Once I get an idea of what my audience truly appreciates about my blog and what it would take to entice more to follow me, then I will have a much easier time with blogging.

Election Day Hysteria

Well, it’s here. Judgment Day!!!!! Ok, let’s be serious for a minute here. During this campaign, we all have had to deal with rumors and slanderous claims from both sides. We have been inundated with phone calls from various political campaigns. Let’s not forget the never-ending loop of political ads on TV. Can a sista watch The Office without at least ONE ad of Romney’s smug mug or Obama cheesin’ like a cat that got the cream?! Seriously. I’m over it. What I’m most over is the amount of hate and vitriol I have read on Facebook and other social networking sites. This morning was the last straw.

Since when did calling someone a Muslim equate to being called a four-letter curse word? Apparently, calling President Obama a Muslim is a way for right-wing Christian nutjobs to insult him. An attention-seeking friend on Facebook has chosen to insult an entire religion simply because he feels it’s his right as a Christian. He calls the president a name, then jumps on me for calling some psychotic woman on his Facebook a crazy racist. Oh, hypocrisy, you must love the Conservative Right.

One of the many paranoid assertions this woman made is that if Obama is reelected, the Muslim Brotherhood will take over. Somebody needs to get back on their medication and stop letting the delusions take over. I find it very difficult to have an intelligent discussion with someone who insists on spouting such untruths. What evidence do any of these people have that this will happen? None, except what the voices in their heads tell them.

At this point, it doesn’t matter who wins. NOTHING, and I repeat, NOTHING will change in our favor! Big business and Wall Street will still control Washington, the War on Terror will never end, and the economy will still be in a free-fall. The only thing that WILL change is our country will be knocked back years in terms of race relations. A lot of folks’ true colors have come out these past four years and I have learned the hard way that some people I thought I was cool with are extremely prejudiced deep down.

As a sidenote: don't post anything on Facebook that you don't want to say in public. Nor should you post anything if you don't want people taking screenshots of it and posting it on Reddit to embarrass and expose you for the bigot you are. Just a warning. THINK before you Facebook!

Facebook annoyances

I like Facebook. I don't love it but it's convenient. It's easy for me to keep in touch with friends that live farther away whose lives are pretty busy. I like being able to share pictures, videos, etc. with a large number of friends all at once. However, Facebook has it's drawbacks that are mostly to do with people on Facebook and not necessarily anything that Mark Zuckerberg is doing.

1) Apps. Good God how I loathe them! I briefly played around with Farmville and enjoyed it but it just became tedious. I used to not mind that I got daily notifications from people on my friends list about whatever app or Facebook game they were involved with. That was before I got an iPhone. The frequent alerts on my phone that "so-so would like for you to join them in Chefville" or whatever started to really piss me off. I sign onto Facebook once or twice daily only to find dozens of notifications from friends spamming me with their app requests! Just, stop, or I shall engage the "Unfriend" function.

2) Discussions of religion or politics. I get that your faith and/or political beliefs are important to you. I also defend your Constitutional right to say whatever the hell you want to on your own status update. However, do not act surprised to discover there are people on your friends list that don't agree with your rhetoric. You must also attempt to check the behavior of the crazed zealots you are friends with that DO agree with you when they start in on the adult version of schoolyard bullying. President Obama isn't a foreign-born secret Muslim, a woman isn't a whore just because she takes birth control, and Separation of Church and State was a decision made by our Founding Fathers. Just because I don't agree with you and I prefer to live in the realm of reality and facts does not give you license to question my intelligence or patriotism. Nor does it give you the right to disparage my education, race, and socioeconomic background because of my beliefs. 

3) Status update histrionics. *sigh* Where do I even start with this? Before I do, let me confess that I have been guilty of venting on Facebook in the past. Sometimes, you just need to let off steam. Afterwards, you feel better and then foolish for posting an expletive-laced diatribe against a coworker, friend, or family member in such a public fashion. The problem are those that do it constantly. You know who you are. Everyone has that friend on Facebook that updates their status cursing out someone they recently dated or bemoaning how crappy their life is. On a daily basis with constant updates throughout the day all along the same thread. These same folks also hijack OTHER people's status updates to bitch about how much their own lives currently suck. Case in point: I had a friend that posted a humorous update on Facebook about being stuck in traffic. After several friends left hilarious comments on the status, one friend decided to hijack the status by complaining this person had been a bad friend by not calling or checking on her. She was serious when she did this. What followed was an example of extreme bitchassness that could only exist on a social networking site. After turning a funny status into one huge guilt trip, myself and others came to my friend's defense that this sort of hijacking was just not kosher and that she needs to take the theatrics back to her own page. The entitlement of some Facebook users is just mind boggling, which leads me to my final issue.

4) Overt displays of narcissism. Social networks have turn us all into selfish assholes. That's the reality. Just like with AIM ten years ago, everybody assumes that the world really wants to hear our witty deduction of "Is the hokey pokey REALLY what it's all about?!" or how that the world really gives a shit that I ate a lox and cream cheese bagel at an awesome bagel shop. Yes, we all want to entertain our friends but when your entire identity is wrapped up in your Facebook page, it's time for you to log off and reevaluate your life. When you post pictures of yourself scantily-clad just so your male friends can comment about how hot you are, then I suggest that you seek therapy for low self-esteem. There's hundreds of millions of Facebook users. None of us are any more special than the next, so stop acting like as though the world revolves around you!

People, let's try to remember one very important fact: employers and universities check Facebook and other social networking sites to see if you have a profile. If they're lucky, you're moronic enough to have your profile set to public. That way, they can see ALL your business, good and bad. Don't be an idiot, use Facebook responsibly. 

Free Speech is Clearly Anything But

There are plenty of things said in this world that I don't agree with. The disgusting vitriol spouted by the Reverend Fred Phelps and his psychotic followers are a prime example of speech I find inflammatory and plain disturbing. However, as an American that cares about civil liberties, I will defend his right to say whatever the hell he wants to say, no matter how much I disagree with what comes out of that jerk's mouth. It is the constitutional right of all Americans to utilize their freedom of speech. Obviously the government doesn't agree when it comes to the case of Brandon J. Raub.

This young man is a decorated former Marine who served his country selflessly in the Middle East. He recently made some anti-government statements on Facebook. This is something that's done every day on all forms of social media. Instead of just ignoring the statements, the FBI and Secret Service strong-armed the Chesterfield County Police to detain Brandon on a TDO (temporary detention order) in the local psychiatric ward. This worries me. What is the government doing monitoring our Facebook pages? If they were to detain EVERYONE that says the things Brandon said, we'd all be locked up. Why is it ok for others, but not for him?

I usually try to stay out of political debates. I have my own personal opinions, but I was raised to believe there's a quartet of things you NEVER discuss: money, religion, sex, and politics. In the case of Brandon Raub, what is happening to him is wrong. This country brags about the many freedoms we enjoy as citizens as a means of proving how much better we are than other countries. When we start abusing the law as a means of controlling the populace and frightening them into complacency, then that makes us no better than those Communist nations we were so afraid of during the Cold War.