25 Days of Christmas - Day 7: Horror During the Christmas Season?

I've been told that it's inappropriate to watch horror movies during the Christmas holidays. Apparently, this time of year is supposed to be wholesome and family-oriented. I must admit, I've been guilty of thinking this way as well. They released Girl With a Dragon Tattoo last year around Christmas. Can you imagine the family discussion over which film they should go to? "What should we take grandma to see? Oh! How about that film that depicts the sexual degradation of women with a rather tough-to-watch rape scene? Perfect! Grandma will love that!" Yeah, I can see where people are coming from that some films should not be viewed during this season.

Despite certain issues surrounding the idea of viewing horror during Christmas, I think one could make a few exceptions here and there. My goodness, we have an entire sub-genre of horror movies devoted to Christmas! I think the holiday is prime for scares. Christmas is supposed to be sweet, fun, and innocent. Can you imagine anything worse than ruining that with a psychotic Santa? Poor benevolent Santa Claus. Instead of being that nice guy who brings you presents, he's an ax-murderer looking to slaughter scantily-clad women like in Silent Night, Deadly Night.

The most memorable Christmas horror movie from my childhood is without a doubt Gremlins. As an adult, it doesn't scare me as much, but it still offers up quite a bit of nostalgia. The gremlins wrapped in Christmas lights, little adorable Gizmo. The only problem with the film is that Christmas seems to almost be an afterthought. If it weren't for the sight of the lit-up tree, snow, and assorted decorations in the background, I'd never know it was Christmas. The movie's tiny monsters aren't something you'd associate with Christmas frights. For me, Black Christmas is the quintessential Christmas horror. It has the great Christmas boogeyman legend as a means to implicate the holiday itself into the film. It's best to bring the holiday to the forefront and make it part of the story.

I'm not going to list all the Christmas horror films. It isn't hard to find the good ones. Just remember: there's no shame in watching a good scary movie at Christmas.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 31: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

The day is upon us. My favorite holiday ever. Tonight I'm going to indulge in my favorite Halloween-theme movies. AMC and IFC have made me proud with their marathons of horror films. AMC have been showing quite a bit of the Halloween franchise on a never-ending loop all day today while IFC is showing The Exorcist. ABC Family has a double showing of Hocus Pocus and Sundance Channel is showing a variety of "scary" films. This is going to be an awesome night.

I already handed out candy to the children, helped the Neighborhood Watch with their Fall Festival candy celebration for the kids, and got my list of films to stay up late watching tonight. I'm going to miss this month. It's been a blast writing this blog series. I'll admit that it was challenging coming up with something new everyday, but I've enjoyed the exercise. It has gotten me into the habit of updating my blog daily and encouraged me to hone my skills as a writer. This series has also driven more traffic to my blog. Trust me when I say there are far more positives than negatives doing this series.

Thank you to everyone who helped me with this series, thank you to my friends who patiently stood by my incessant Facebook status updates about new blog entries, but most of all, thank you to the readers from all over the world who enjoyed this. And again...

31 Days of Halloween - Day 30: Scary Weather

Damn Hurricane Sandy. She can kiss my ass. Any hopes of going to New York before Christmas have since been dashed. Thanks a bunch. However, with my cat allergies, something else absolutely terrifies me. The only thing scarier than a hurricane is this:

My area was lucky enough to not be hit by Sandy. We've had thunderstorms stronger than this hurricane! Que sera sera. Before the hurricane, I decided to mark the occasion by watching a few weather-themed films. 

The Day After Tomorrow

This movie is perfect for that post-apocalyptic kind of weather that Sandy has given us. High waves, incessant rain, New York being torn to shreds by Mother Nature. Yep, this is the movie!

Storm of the Century

Just give the man what he wants so he can get his ass out of there! Oh, wait, he's the Devil, not a carjacker. My bad! This is a good weather movie simply for the trapped feeling one would get being stuck on an island which is cut off from the rest of the world. Throw in a blizzard and Legion himself and it makes for some pretty frightening weather.

The Thing

What's scarier than an alien that can mimic the appearance of humans? Being trapped with that alien in Antarctica with no connection to the outside world. The isolation and freezing weather makes this movie all the more claustrophobic. I say screw the rest of the team, I'm finding my own way out of there!

There's just one more blog entry before the end of this year's 31 Days of Halloween series. Tune in tomorrow for my Halloween movie marathon!

31 Days of Halloween - Day 27: What if The Exorcist was Turned Into an 80's Sitcom?

This has to be the best Exorcist video EVER! Love the cheesy theme music. It's so 80s. Thought I could inject some lightheartedness into my Halloween blog.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 26: Horror Stereotypes

The horror genre wouldn't be complete if it didn't contain those classic stereotypes. These are the character archetypes that you see in EVERY FUCKING HORROR MOVIE! Cabin in the Woods was very creative in explaining why every horror film always has the slut, the jock, the virgin, etc. For those of you that haven't seen Cabin in the Woods or don't know that other stereotypes exist that the film didn't delve into, I'm here to explain them all to you.

1)  The virgin. There's always that girl in every film who would ONLY wears white panties and would never in her life be caught dead indulging in alcohol or hallucinogenic drugs or *gasp* SEX! She's the one that always lives at the end because she's "pure." Goody two shoes bitch.

2)  The loud ass black person. When you see black people in horror films, they're rarely the intellectual, nerdy types. They're always cracking jokes or threatening to whup the killer's ass. They're the bad mo-fos that is always there as back up (and comedic relief) to the preppy white jock guy. And they're also one of the first people to die. 

3)  The slutty girl. This girl is the antithesis to the virgin. Her main purpose, besides gratuitous nudity, is to provide the perfect contrast and to attempt to convince the virgin to engage in sinful behavior. She usually dies with her breasts out whilst having sex or AFTER having sex. 

4)  The jock/preppy guy. Self-explanatory. He is the asshole of the group who frequently makes fun of the other characters and turns being a douchebag into an Olympic sport. He's usually very good-looking and is likely dating the slutty girl. You expect him to survive because he's able to hold his own throughout most of the film. Alas, he always dies eventually and in spectacular fashion.

5)  The drunk/stoner. This person exists solely to provide us with more reasons why hedonism is bad. This guy is unable to string together more than one declarative sentence at a time because he is usually high as a kite and/or drunk off his ass. He typically dies because he is far too under the influence to fight back. 

6)  Modern technology suddenly decides to stop working. Now that we live in the world of cell phones and WiFi, in the 21st century of horror films, those things never work when you need them to. In older horror films, the car always doesn't want to start. It didn't matter how new the car was, the character just couldn't get the engine to turn over. In newer films, cell phones mysteriously lose their signals and the internet also goes down. Perhaps that person has Sprint and uses Comcast internet. It would explain soooo much!

7)  The Harbinger. Cabin in the Woods touches on this one. This stereotype is usually a creepy old man who warns our characters not to go where they're going or is there to tell them this long scary story about the house they're staying in. Afterwards, he usually dies or disappears from the story entirely. This character serves no other purpose but to make everyone uneasy about their little vacation in the middle of nowhere, because staying in a creepy-ass house miles away from civilization isn't enough to make them feel uneasy.

8)  The Know-it-all. This person is an expert on whatever monster or killer is after the group. He's the horror movie addict who quotes Stephen King as if he's the modern day Edgar Allen Poe. This person believes that by following "rules" that he saw in some film will save him. Um, no. 

The biggest stereotype of all in horror movies is the need of our characters to vacation in some extremely isolated location. Who in the hell told the characters the it'd be a be a good idea to rent a house on the side of a mountain where you need to park your car and then walk for an hour to get to the house? How about staying on your own private island 10 miles from town and the only way in or out is a small speedboat (which also suddenly decides to stop working) or a seaplane (that also  doesn't want to work when you need it.) Why, why, WHY do people do this in horror movies?! When my friends and I took our vacation to Myrtle Beach (and each of us fit one of the stereotypes above to a certain degree) we rented a house where we were SURROUNDED by other houses that were also occupied. If some shit went down, we had somewhere to run. 

31 Days of Halloween - Day 25: How to Host a Horror Marathon for Halloween

A favorite past time is watching horror movies with friends. There's nothing more fun than getting a group of your crazies buds together with some snacks and sit them down for a fright-filled evening. That's one thing I miss about my college friends: they were always down for a marathon night.

For those of you that aren't horror aficionados, you may be a bit clueless on how to host a horror marathon successfully. The most important thing to a good horror marathon is to make sure you have a selection of horror movies that are actually decent. No Slumber Party Slaughterhouse 5 shit. Your guests will want a variety of horror films to choose from that don't suck ass.

If you don't want to deal with your friends arguing over the variety of films and which ones to watch, you could always set a theme. Let's say your theme is zombies. You could do a zombie film that is terrifying, one that's funny, and one that's dark and cerebral. For example, if I hosted a zombie movie night, I'd show the original Night of the Living Dead (of course), Shaun of the Dead (for laughs), and Les Revenants a.k.a. They Came Back (it's a French zombie film.) Perfect films for this theme and I'd save Shaun of the Dead for the end.

Another equally important element of hosting a successful horror marathon night is inviting friends that actually LIKE horror movies. Don't invite punk asses that are afraid of gore or detest the horror genre. Why would you want anyone like that at your marathon night? Seriously?!

Let's not forget food and drinks. If you're of age and alcoholically inclined, don't forget the beer, wine, hard cider, or liquor. Snacks and booze makes any film more enjoyable (except for Meet the Spartans.)

Finally, don't stress about making the marathon a success. Keep it informal and lighthearted. The point of your friends being there, aside from watching films, is to have fun. So don't get bogged down in rules and timetables for the films. Chill out, sit back, and enjoy your time with your buds.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 24: Children's Horror Movies/Television

I never had much use for kiddie horror. I was already allowed to watch the real thing, so why even bother with those crap "scary" movies Disney channel puts out every year for Halloween? Well, come to find out there were a few decent things for kids. Nickelodeon had a show called Are You Afraid of the Dark that I used to LOVE. I still look back on it fondly. I remember being ten and watching SNICK (if you remember that, then you're definitely a child of the early 90s) and Are You Afraid of the Dark was the last show to come on that 2 hour block. Some episodes were just plain corny while others were pretty terrifying. My favorite was, and still is, the Nosferatu episode where the monster comes out of the film to terrorize these teenagers working at an old theater. Also, who could forget Dr. Vink with a "va-va-va!" That show was awesome with good and wholesome scares for kids. It's a shame it doesn't come on anymore because kids are getting shafted with horror movies and television geared towards them.

That seems to be the problem these days. There's nothing acceptable and appropriate for kids in terms of horror. Without getting into a discussion over how young is too young to expose children to horror, everyone remembers when they saw their first horror film as a child. It's a rite of passage to say "yeah, I saw that movie about the guy in a ski mask that slaughters cheerleaders when I was in elementary school!" Everything these days is either too gory or too "wholesome." I would never show a ten year old films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre (even though I was younger than that when I saw it) but I also wouldn't subject a 14 year old to the crap-fest that is Disney's Halloweentown. So what's the answer to this dilemma?

When it comes to horror for the young, you must maintain an age-appropriate happy medium. In other words, utilize the rating system or just good common sense. If your child has nightmares about clowns, don't show them Stephen King's It. In fact, if you have a hyper-sensitive punk for a child, stay away from horror in general! 

Below is a brief list of kid-friendly programs you can enjoy with your children this Halloween. Yes, they're a bit dated because these were things I enjoyed as a kid. Have fun!

Hocus Pocus

The Addams Family (both movies)

Casper

Sleepy Hollow (the animated film and the Johnny Depp film)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie ("excuse much, rude or anything?!")

Gremlins (it used to scare me, but kids love this movie for some reason)

Are You Afraid of the Dark

Goosebumps

31 Days of Halloween - Day 23: Horror Comedy

Some horror die-hards find it difficult to enjoy a movie where you’re supposed to alternate scares with laughs. Even I have found it a bit much to sit through a few horror comedies. Of course, that’s because most horror comedies I’ve seen were complete excrement. Thankskilling anyone?! However, there are a few that have some redeeming qualities. Sam Raimi’s horror films are a prime example of this.

Take a look at the Evil Dead franchise. The first movie had several good laughs. Some intentional and some unintentional. By the time the franchise got to Army of Darkness, it had ventured into full-on satirical territory with some gore thrown in for good measure. Raimi’s best horror comedy, in my opinion, is Drag Me to Hell. It was perfection. It had the scares, creepy overtones, and moments that made me literally laugh out loud. It got me wondering if I could ever favor horror comedy over just plain horror.

Why do we like our gore with a side of humor? Everyone has sat in a movie theater during the showing of a horror film and had that collective uneasy laughter that inevitably follows a jump scare. We like horror comedies because it makes being able to watch what we see on screen just a little easier. Even torture porn films like Hostel, Saw, and Cabin Fever had a modicum of humor to calm the frayed nerves of their audiences. Only sadists and desensitized sociopaths could sit through a film watching people be physically degraded and eviscerated without having momentary breaks in the film that allows for the odd giggle or two.

Horror comedies must have that perfect balance between being funny and scary. If it’s too funny with a small amount of scares, then it’s simply a parody. And don’t give me that crap about the filmmakers being ironic and self-aware with their film. The Scary Movie franchise isn’t a statement on how society views the horror genre. Nor does it have anything to do with our need to extract humor from terrifying situations as a means to ease our fears. Those films exist simply to poke fun at horror.

With the horror comedy sub-genre, it’s best to keep the comedy light but relevant to the story. It needs to make sense that we are laughing one minute and leaping out of our skins from fright the next. I think films like these are cathartic and a nice vacation away from the run of the mill horror. Fingers crossed for a Drag Me to Hell sequel.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 20: Paranormal Activity 4 review

They need to just stop making these movies. Tie up the story and end it. I genuinely enjoyed the first Paranormal Activity and thought they had improved on certain aspects of the story in the second one. The third one kinda confused me and felt like they were retconning the story a bit. Now this fourth one has just screwed the whole franchise up. 

By itself, PA4 wouldn't be so bad. Ok, the acting sucks and the scares, while good, are few and far between. However, the problem with this film is because it's a direct sequel yet it has more plot holes than it knows what to do with! It makes no sense how the film is a sequel from to PA2 except you see the appearance of Katie from the previous movies. Other than that, there's no real connection, at least not any that is reasonable. Why is this new family targeted by the demon now? The explanation is ridiculous and raises more questions than it answers. 

They have new technology to record the haunting in this film in the way of Macs and iChat and they do this cool effect with an Xbox. The problem is, they don't use these effects to their full advantage. As for recording the iChats 24/7, give me a break. Unless they have terabyte hard drives on all those Macs, it would be literally impossible to record the events in this film. Yet another plothole. Let's also not forget the need to record EVERY FUCKING THING with handheld cameras. Ok, you're being chased and your number one priority is to ensure the shot is perfectly framed? 

I'm so over these films. This one didn't do anything new. We've seen all this before. Can we get something else besides seeing mundane family shit or the sound of a pot dropping on the floor? "OMG, something just banged against the wall!" Yes, there were a couple of good scares that made me jump or scream "oh shit" but that's not enough for this to be an amazing movie. So to the filmmakers: give up the ghost. If you do make another PA film, finish off the story, take your millions and run. If we get another piece of tripe like this one, I'm going to be really pissed and just consider you the horror version of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 15: Halloween Movie Marathons on TV

Every year around this time, cable networks will do their own versions of a Halloween countdown where they do a round-the-clock marathon of horror themed movies they temporarily have the rights to. AMC is normally my favorite for these marathons but SyFy Channel does them too now. Even Disney has gotten in on the action. Here's a partial list below of where you can find your favorite horror movies for the Halloween month:

AMC - Fear Fest - They normally do a weekly version of this every Friday night called Fear Fridays, but lately that's been lacking. The films you'll find here are all the Friday the 13th movies (even that God awful Jason X), most of the Halloween franchise, and various others. AMC has a real hard-on for the Halloween movies, particularly Halloween 4 and 5. AMC, for the most part, shows the better quality horror films than many other cable networks.

SyFy Channel - 31 Days of Halloween - Of course they would do horror marathon for Halloween. Problem is, it's SyFy channel. Yeah, they show some decent stuff once in a while, but generally it's SyFy originals like Megapiranha vs. Octoshark or some stupid shit like that. The best thing they've shown this week: The Mist. That movie freaked me out. Those little spider things with faces? *shiver* If you're into the normal crap they show on SyFy, then go for it. I'd still recommend checking out the schedule first to see what DECENT films they have coming up. I'm still mad the bastards copied the name of my Halloween blog series. LOL

ABC Family - 13 Nights of Halloween - Here, you'll find pretty much what you'd expect from the "Family Channel": kid-approved Halloween movies such as Adams Family and Hocus Pocus (my fave as a kid.) Nothing gory or above a PG-rating, which should make parents happy. The scariest thing you'll see? Harry Potter 1-6.

FEARnet - Nothing much to see here in the way of mainstream horror movies. Their OnDemand service has a limited number of films (and most of them suck) and even fewer on their site. The crowning glory are the horror shorts you'll find on FEARnet. Those make up for the lack of movies.

Travel Channel - Okay, you won't find movies here. NONE. However, if you're a travel nut like me, you'll appreciate their haunted destinations theme. Many of the shows highlight the best places to travel on a haunted tour, the best haunted houses, Halloween attractions, etc. So if you're planning a Halloween-themed vacay, watch this channel.

Don't forget to check out premium cable channels like Encore or utilize your OnDemand service to find other Halloween goodies for the month of October.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 13: Sinister Movie Review

Nothing fills me with more pride than a fellow writer who gets out there and succeeds at doing what others continuously fail at: writing a good horror movie. C. Robert Cargill, most affectionately known as “Carlyle” from Spill.com, co-wrote the new Ethan Hawke film Sinister and boy, did he do a good job.

The film is about a true crime writer named Ellison played by Hawke, who moves his family into a home where the brutal murder of a family took place. The point of their being there is for him to solve the murder and the disappearance of the youngest daughter of the murdered family. During his investigations, he discovers a box of Super 8 films in the attic, some dating back 30+ years, and all with seemingly innocuous titles on them. The films are anything but mundane. They each depict the grisly murder of a different family. It is here where everything goes to hell for Ellison and his family. His son starts having severe night terrors and weird things start happening around the house to the point where any normal person would’ve moved the first night. This is where some people may have a problem with the film.

Let’s just say this were real life. In real life, if someone had discovered a box of films in their attic depicting a series of murders that may possibly be connected, they would turn them into the police. If, after viewing said films, weird shit starts going down in your house and you see a strange figure in your backyard, you would MOVE! Not this character. His continued stubbornness at solving this case and writing his epic modern version of In Cold Blood blinds him to the danger he is putting his family in. This is also the strength of the movie. Unlike previous films where the main character’s idiotic decisions make zero sense, this character’s deficiency at backing away from the mystery of the films is explained away by his obsession at reviving his flagging career. He needs this book to be a success as it is his last chance to make his writing career work. I thought showing the ego of a success-driven character was a good way of making audiences understand why the family did not just leave initially.

The main draw of the movie for me was the fright factor. I always say that if a film has me covering my eyes, then it’s succeeded at scaring me. If it scares me, then it is a damn good horror movie. There were jump scares, as can be expected, but the better part of the horror came from the creepiness of it all. The way the rooms were always super dark at night when Ellison goes to “inspect that creepy noise.” That feeling you get when you think someone is right behind a door. I especially loved the way the director would frame shots in an effort to amp up the scares. The most frightening aspect of the movie are the super 8 films themselves. Quite simply, these films are unsettling. The movie doesn’t shy away from the gruesome aspects of someone having their throat slit or being hung from a tree in a way to slowly strangle to death. These films made my skin crawl and definitely helped in scaring the audience.

The writers and filmmakers did a good job with this one. It isn’t your typical haunted house or evil monster yarn. You may take issue with the main character and end up hating him by the conclusion of the film, but the fact that the film is purely frightening makes up for any pretentious characters.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 12: How to Survive a Horror Movie

One thing that's always bothered me in horror movies are the dumb decisions made by the characters. No wonder folks get picked off one by one in rapid succession. They are freaking morons! They clearly aren't making the right decisions. Common sense goes a long way in a horror film. Of course, this is just a film and if the characters were Mensa inductees or Delta Force members, the movie would last about ten minutes. However, should you find yourself in a horror-type situation in real life, here's a few handy tips on how to get out with your ass intact.

1)  Weapons. I can't stress how important an arsenal is in the event of an emergency. You'd be surprised how much easier it is to blow the head off a zombie with a sniper rifle than to simply shank the pasty bastard.

2)  Double-tap. Zombieland covers this, people! If the monster or killer in your personal horror movie is overtaken, make sure his (or her) ass is down for the count! Stab him through the heart, chop his head off, unload an entire clip into him! Do anything but shoot or hit once and then walk away! They always get back up due to your ineptitude at killing horror movie villains.

3)  Don't be black, a slut, or an asshole. Being the slut or the asshole never does anyone any favors in a horror movie because the audience will be cheering for your epic death scene. If you're opening your legs to every guy or you're the frat boy with anger management issues, then NOBODY will be shedding a tear when you are decapitated with a scythe. As for black people, well they don't get to survive in a horror movie mainly because they make dumb-ass decisions. In real life, a black person would GTFO the second scary shit started happening. Like these black people right here:


4)  Never inspect that strange noise. Oh come on people! How many times have you seen a movie where someone goes off to check out that weird sound only to end up stuffed in the pantry with their throat slit. When you hear something unnatural in your dwelling, get a baseball bat, turn on all the lights, and stick with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Don't go running off alone trying to play the hero. You will fucking die.

5)  RUN, BITCH, RUN!!!!! Do I really need to tell you this?! If something pops out and your weapons fail to neutralize the enemy, the only thing left to do is to haul ass like an Olympic sprinter. By the way, try to run in a straight line! Don't be the typical shirtless floozy in horror films and make four right-hand turns thinking that will help you evade your attacker. Uh, no. Run as straight and and as fast as humanly possible! And never ever EVER look back! If you do, you will just become another horror movie statistic!

31 Days of Halloween - Day 11: How Young is TOO Young to Watch Horror Movies?

That seems to be the question of everyone I know. My earliest memory of horror films was maybe 4 or 5 years old. My father was military and a nurse, so he often worked nights. My mother worked for the sawmills when we lived in Louisiana, so she was frequently gone during the nights as well. Who was there to care for me? My prank-loving older brothers, who would show me horror films to scare the devil out of me. Yeah, they were negligent babysitters. When I tell people that I saw the original Nightmare on Elm Street when I was five years old, they would often have severe opinions of my mother and father's parenting choices. It was never that huge a deal because I knew that what I was watching onscreen wasn't reality. I knew there wasn't a chainsaw wielding psychopath who enjoyed wearing other people's faces going through our neighborhood or a guy with a glove of knives stalking my dreams. In other words, I knew the difference of fantasy from reality. However, that does bring up the all important question: how young is too young?

My parents instilled in me at a young age that what you see on the television isn't real. I remember licking this fruit decorated wallpaper in this interior design store after seeing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory because I thought it was fruit-flavored. Yeah, the shop assistant thought I was a "re-re." My mother sat me down and had a LONG discussion with me about the difference between reality and fantasy. That's when it really hit home that the horror movies my brothers showed me were nothing to fear. However, that doesn't work for everyone.

Allegedly, I have a genius-level IQ that's "off the charts" which just means that I catch on quicker than others. I dispute those findings whole-heartily due mainly to my many bouts of extreme ditziness. Just because I understood at a young age that horror movies were not real doesn't mean that other children have that same comprehension. I disagree with showing horror films to children under the age of 13. Parents can make their own case-by-case decision, but as we've seen with some people, it doesn't require any certification to become a parent. I'm all for enforcing the MPAA guidelines with parental exceptions if you feel that your child can handle it. Especially in cases like this:

31 Days of Halloween - Day 10: Tribute to Horror Hosts

Nothing brings back memories of my childhood introduction into horror quite like that of the horror host. They have a certain nostalgia for me. The main three I remember growing up were Elvira, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys, and of course, Joe Bob Briggs. I LOVED Joe Bob when I was a teenager. Unfortunately, the younger generations these days don't have the same frame of reference with the horror hosts as people my age and older do.

When production started on the remake of Fright Night, I was surprised to hear they had changed the character of Peter Vincent from a actor/horror host to that of a Las Vegas magician/illusionist ala Criss Angel. As a fan of the original, I was highly upset at the change. Yes, it's a very minor change, but it felt like they were trying to "update" the film a little too much for me. That's when it dawned on me: they HAD to change the character's occupation. Today's 18-25 crowd don't know what a horror host is. They all know who Criss Angel or David Blaine are, but none of them could point out Elvira if you asked them to. This is all very sad to me.

Growing up, I remember Friday and Saturday nights were reserved for the horror crowd. The horror host at one point was quintessential to American television. In the 60s and 70s, if some crappy B-movie horror film was playing on late night television, some cheesy failed actor with an even cheesier horror-themed name would be hosting the event. The first horror host on television was Vampira, who may have been the inspiration for Elvira's on-screen personality. Vampira didn't stay on air for long, but many shows following her could credit her show as inspiration.

My brothers used to make me watch Elvira's show Elvira's Movie Macabre, not to scare me with the movies that were shown, but with Elvira herself. They convinced me that her name meant evil, so the very sight of her face sent me into a cold sweat. In the 90s, I had grown more of a backbone so the horror host was seen as a point of humor rather than someone frightening. By then, I had discovered the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys and the aforementioned Joe Bob Briggs. By the time I got to university, the horror host had been relegated to television history and what we are left with is a whole generation that had never heard the term before, much less SEEN a horror host program.

With the proliferation of the Internet and the dawn of YouTube, has the horror host been rendered irrelevant? Any geek in his (or her) mom's basement can upload a video waxing poetic on the different Frankensteins through history. However, it just isn't the same to turn on your television late at night to see some guy in a Party City get up crawling out of a coffin to do an introduction to that night's showing of Dracula. Horror hosts, come back!

31 Days of Halloween - Day 5: Horror Anthologies

Friday night, my boyfriend and I decided to do a late-night viewing of Halloween fave Trick 'r Treat. I love that movie even though it's not particularly scary. It's good, easy fun. That's enough for me.

The week before, my boyfriend showed me Twilight Zone: the movie. I shocked him with the revelation that I'd never seen it before. Whatever, he just saw Silence of the Lambs for the first time a couple years ago, so I don't want to hear it. There were some rather frightening parts and I sincerely enjoyed the film. I realized then that my inner ADD child likes anthologies merely for the stories' short length.

I've known people who hate horror anthologies. Some complain that the individual stories feel too short and incomplete, which is the product of lazy writing. I disagree. Some horror movies feel like they drag on way too long. Not every story needs to be an hour and a half long. A good story can be told in 20 minutes. The length is not important but the quality is. I will get bored if the film doesn't get to the action. Build the tension, yes, but I don't need a ton of exposition and 30 minutes of establishing shots. Introduce your characters and story, build said tension, and then shock us with the climax. If you are going for a more character-driven storyline, then you might require a more in-depth approach to your film. However, if you are just going for getting the story out there without spending extra time on characters, then the film-making version of 500 words or less is the way to go.

31 Days of Halloween

It's that time again: time for thrills, chills, and horror. For me, Halloween isn't just one day, it's the whole month of October. It's also my favorite holiday. This year, I've decided to celebrate by doing something for Halloween every single day leading up to the 31st. Each day, starting Monday October 1st, I will do a Halloween-themed activity: watching a scary movie, going to a haunted house, visit a Halloween store, etc. I shall also blog about it here, so I can help get my readers in the mood for Halloween. :-)