Nerdy about… being a Black girl nerd

Let me tell you something, growing up as a black girl nerd wasn’t easy. I was constantly referred to as sell-out or “white girl wannabe.” I didn’t talk or act like some of my fellow black youths did. I liked classical music, I preferred hipster-type clothing (even though I never wore any), I watched Masterpiece Theater and read British literature. To put it plainly: I was educated. I didn’t sound ignorant or dress like a hood rat. I got so used to black kids asking me “why you talk like a white girl” that it had no meaning for me.

The funny thing is, I’m quite proud of being black. I love my skin tone and my heritage and my big ass. The thing I love most about being black is that I'm a walking contradiction to what society thinks black people should be like. Some blacks treat me with disgust while quite a few whites will say to me “Oh you speak so well!” I don’t think I need to explain why that is a backhanded compliment that insults me to no end every time I hear it. You would think in the 21st century where we have quite a few intelligent blacks to look up to, people would be less shocked by my personality.

Being a black nerd is the reason I hated high school. I was over the moon when I graduated. It’s a good thing I didn’t give any graduation speeches. Mine would’ve consisted of a single line: KISS MY ASS AND GOODBYE! I found my nerd group in college. A group that I am still close friends with to this day. Though I traversed my twenties with as much grace as a bull in a China shop, I still was able to come to terms with the part of my personality that causes people to enjoy being around me: being a nerd.

I no longer feel shame in knowing more about Tchaikovsky and Chopin than Biggie and Tupac. Nor do I care who looks at me funny when I tell them I’ve never read a Zane novel and that I’m a huge fan of Jane Austen. Yes, I like sci-fi and horror films and can debate with anyone over what is the worst video game movie of all time (House of the Dead.) While I embrace my nerd-dom and enjoy being different, I shall never lose sight of who I am and my culture. I am proud of who I am and I will continue being me. If you disagree, oh well for you.