The Most Difficult Books To Finish

The Guardian recently did a photo slideshow profiling the ten most difficult books to finish. I'll admit, I've never read or even heard of any of these books. However, I have read (or attempted to read) my share of difficult books. Over the years, I have been introduced to a variety of literature that I've found both enjoyable and complex. Here's my list of the most difficult books I've ever attempted to finish:

1) Possession by A.S. Byatt

This novel chronicles the romance of two 19th century poets while simultaneously telling the story of two 20th century academics studying them. The best word to describe this book is dry. I was surprised the film version turned out to be pleasant and very easy to follow. They simply cut out unnecessary characters and plot points, thus making the film a lot less complex in comparison to the book.

2) Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

I tried with this one, I really tried. I couldn't get past the first chapter. This reads like a 12-year-old's essay on how totally cute Justin Bieber is. Sparkly vampires? Are you kidding me?! I don't have a low enough IQ to fully enjoy these books. I have friends that are able to put their educations aside long enough to be completely in love with the franchise. Me on the other hand, I'm just a little too particular with my literature.

3) Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

Dickens is revered as one of the best authors of all time. Being world-renowned is all well and good once you're dead. However, while you're alive, you have to make money and so did Dickens. When Dickens was being published, he got paid by the word, which explains why his books read like he copied words straight from a thesaurus. This is why I dislike most of his books. The stories tend to get lost in the overuse of rhetoric.

4) Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

Don't get me wrong, I love Hardy. I especially love this book. Word of caution: this book (like most of Hardy's novels) is best read whilst in the throes of a deep depression. If you're happy before you read this book, you won't be by the end. The main character, Jude Fawley, is highly relatable to anyone who has struggled to be successful in life. The reason this book is so difficult to get through is BECAUSE it is so realistic to people. It's heartbreaking to follow Jude as he attempts to claw his way to a better life only to fail time and time again.

5) 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James




















Dearie me. I swear I'm not a prude, but this was just a bit much. I felt dirty after reading this trash novel. I wanted to go to church, say the rosary and the Lord's Prayer, hang a large crucifix in my house, all after showering five times with bleach to wash the shame off my body. After I read parts of the first 50 Shades book, I was ready to crawl into the fetal position screaming "WHYYY?!" like the guy in The Crying Game after he finds out that hot woman is really a man. This book isn't progressive in terms of women owning their sexuality. It's disgusting, misogynistic, and indicative of a very real issue with misguided women who chase behind unavailable men hoping they'd be "The One" to turn this guy around. Please. Don't flatter yourself, ladies.

6) Lolita by Vladmir Nabokov

I have a real problem with a book that could be seen as an excuse for pedophilia being regarded as one of the best novels in history. I have never been able to get through Lolita simply because I find its protagonist so deplorable. I hate how this novel expects its audience to feel any amount of sympathy for Humbert for his unnatural obsession with a young girl. Humbert pretty much blackmails Dolores into staying with him on threat of becoming a ward of the state. How in the world is that "poetic, beautiful, or moving?" Telling a child to stay with you and yield to your sexual advances or go to some terrible orphanage. Nabokov only makes things worse by painting the character of Dolores as a shallow, oversexed brat as a means of excusing Humbert's criminal and amoral actions. In my opinion, this book is nothing more than kiddie diddler propaganda masquerading as intelligent literature.

This is all I could come up with for now. Generally, there aren't many books that I consider a Herculean feat to complete, so finding a few that I genuinely had a difficult time reading was not easy.

31 Days of Halloween - Day 9: Supernatural Television Shows

Supernatural television has long been in vogue. Before Buffy the Vampire Slayer, we had Dark Shadows. Before Tales from the Crypt, there was The Twilight Zone. Today there is a plethora of supernatural programs, many of which are just taking advantage of the whole vampire craze. All I have to say about the newer crop of supernatural shows is this: NOT... A... FAN!

I used to be totally addicted to True Blood. Then I got behind on a few episodes which then turned into a few seasons. Now, I could care less about the show. Sounds awful, I know, but I'm no longer into those shows anymore. Grimm didn't hold my attention enough to watch the pilot episode, Fringe seemed just like that CW show but for adults, and Vampire Diaries is a just a serialized version of Twilight. The last great supernatural show was X-Files. Yeah, the basic storyline was about aliens, but they frequently switched it up with other supernatural elements. X-files was fun and exciting. This latest crop of wannabes is far from exciting.

Other than True Blood, the only supernatural show that seems creative and has a loyal (adult) following is American Horror Story. That show was kicked it up a notch for so-called scary television. I also like the cast/storyline overhaul Ryan Murphy wants to do each season. His reasoning of that makes sense: you can only drag out a story but so long before it gets stale. You hear that True Blood?!

That's the problem with supernatural television shows these days. Most of them don't seem to have an end date in sight. They just keep going, rehashing storylines, changing characters, introducing crazy plot twists until fans of the show blow up the 'Net with how much the show has "jumped the shark." That seems to be the biggest issue with American television. We seem to want to milk a show's popularity for all it's worth at the detriment of the story and characters. Even X-Files suffered this fate the last couple of seasons. At some point, you just have to call time and let the show go out with a bang, not a whimper.

I have hope that not all supernatural shows in the future will suck. We've seen some fine examples of ones that set the bar impossibly high. However, if networks continue to pander to the Twi-hard crowd, we will continue to get crap of CW proportions!

Comic-Con: otherwise known as the Nerd Version of Mecca

I can't possibly explain how jealous I am of the people who get to go to Comic-Con every year. Other than Tuscany, Comic-Con would make an ideal honeymoon destination (yeah, I'm a nerd, deal with it.) Screw the Twilight cast, I want to see the cast of The Walking Dead, Superman, Total Recall, The Expendables 2, etc. I want to see all the other people dressed to the nines as their favorite superhero or comic book character. I'm going to Comic-Con one day, so help me God. Even if I have to sell Kristen Stewart into slavery, I'm going to San Diego before I get too old and creepy-looking like the sketchy geezer standing in line to see the cast of Twilight. I sincerely hope that dude had teenage girls with him that were his children and he was just playing the role of the cool dad taking his girls to Comic-Con to see the cast of Twilight. Sadly, that's probably not the case...