Why I Hate Fifty Shades of Grey

I previously wrote briefly on the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy in my blog about the most difficult books to finish. Someone later pointed out to me that I had yet to read ALL the books and that I couldn't make a judgement on the series without having read it in its entirety. Okay, fair enough. So I made a decision to read all three books. All three filthy, disgusting books. It was a challenge to my endurance and futility for me to read them. I crossed my pain threshold long before the end of the first book. My conclusion? I still hate them, although, I just hate them much more now. Why do I hate them? Oh good Lord, where do I start?!

First of all, let's start with the character of Ms. Anastasia Steele. Never in my life have I met a more weaker female character in literature. Juliet Capulet, Marianne Dashwood, Hamlet's Ophelia, Sue Bridehead all have nothing on her in terms of whiny spinelessness. (Coincidentally, Kate Winslet has played all these characters. Little known cinema fact.) I suppose I can't expect much from a character based off Bella Swan from Twilight. She's so reluctant to stand up for herself to the male protagonist Christian Grey. Ana doesn't just fall into Christian's web of crazy. She full on leaps! She honestly believes that his behavior is based in some love for her. Yes, when men have stalked me to another state, tapped my phone, interfered with my career, and gotten overly involved in my personal life, I just know it's some misguided idea of love. Because you know, all healthy relationships have their beginnings this way.

That leads me to my dissection of him. He makes me sick. As I was reading the books, I thought to myself "THIS is the guy women have been swooning over?!" The guy who tells Ana without a sense of irony that he wants to beat her and hurt her because "brown haired girls" like her look like his crack whore of a mother! Paging Dr. Phil! Someone is in need of some SERIOUS psychiatric care! Christian Grey is the most egotistical, controlling, emotionally unavailable douchebag I have ever seen! He takes advantage of a sexually inexperienced young woman for his own twisted ends. He makes it difficult for her to ever refuse him by pulling her into his world and then frightening her with the idea he'd take his love away from her. He's a textbook abuser. He controls every aspect of her life, including her social interactions with her friends. He makes her financially dependent on him by buying her cars, clothing, and making large cash deposits to her bank account. He even dictates her gynecological visits and contraception. The lack of a backbone Ana displays is an insult to feminism. She can't make one decision without worrying about what he'll say or do and woe betide when she defies him. The recriminations are slow and emotionally painful. Of course, the sick-minded E.L. James follows this up with hot "make-up sex" which Christian uses to manipulate Ana's emotions. More on the sex later. The one time she actually makes a stand against the megalomaniac Christian is when he completely overreacts in a very negative way to the news that she's pregnant and she finally sees him for what he is: an asshole with deep-seated issues.

There is nothing about either of these characters that makes their love story believable. His character develops some throughout the books while she stays exactly the same. I can see why a naive young woman who has never had a relationship with any man outside of friendship would fall for a guy like Christian. He's hot, wealthy beyond all imagination, mysterious, etc. He puts a new spin on the whole tall, dark, and handsome adage. Beyond that, there's nothing really appealing about him. Once you get to know him, you see just how screwed up he really is. Majority of women I know would've ran for the hills rather than stay with a man like him. As for Ana, I don't get what Christian sees in her either. We're supposed to believe that she is the one woman that is the catalyst for change in his character. That she is the one that makes him want to be a better man. Okay, that's all well and good, but why? What makes her so different from other women? As far as I can see, she's uninteresting, weak, simple-minded, so complacent and emotionally dependent on him that it's bordering on satirical. He keeps saying throughout the series that her stubbornness and unwillingness to "be submissive" to him is what draws him to her. She challenges him and apparently, he likes that. Well, stubbornness doesn't make up for other character shortcomings no matter how much it turns the male protagonist on.

Their relationship is far from healthy and normal. It's obsessive, controlling, and extremely one-sided. Everything is always on HIS terms. What she wants matters very little to him, even though he claims he'll do anything to make her happy. He makes her second guess herself constantly when she goes to make decisions in her own life. Unfortunately, the author frequently has Ana make the world's dumbest decisions, and in effect, proving Christian right in his obsessive need to be overprotective and controlling. I have a difficult time viewing the relationship as realistic in the way it develops, especially in such a short period of time. How do you go from perfect strangers to desperately in love and married within three months?! I guess it helps the readers believe in the story when Ana and Christian engage in intense, mind-blowing, all-consuming sex. And women are eating this (expletive deleted) up!

Yes, there is sex and lots of it. Thing is, I don't have a problem with the sex. We all do it. Every last one of us was born because sex took place at some point. The issue is the way the author uses sex as a means of making the readers believe Ana and Christian are truly in love. Apparently, love is measured by the number of orgasms a woman can have. Somehow, the sex is supposed to make up for the heartbreak and inner turmoil Christian puts Ana through. That through these intense "vanilla" love-making sessions the characters truly unleash a part of their souls (especially Christian) in a way that makes the readers (and the other characters) believe they have fallen in love. Please, I'm not that stupid. However, I can't say the same for millions of women the world over.

So there you have it, I read all three books and they leave me just as unimpressed now as they did before I read them. Oh, the mystery and action involving a subplot in part of the second book and all of the third book are interesting. Actually, the subplot is more interesting than the "love" story but the whole ordeal is rushed and doesn't even marry well with the rest of the story. What we're left with is a mess of badly-written dialogue, a cheesy love story, and a one-dimensional heroine who is unfortunately our narrator. I thank God that I never have to read lines about Ana's "Inner Goddess" ever again!